Face Down
by Lishbashbaaaa
Summary: Face down in the dirt. She said this doesn't hurt. She said I finally had enough." Face Down by The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. She finally had enough of Jacob Black. M rated for references to adult themes.


Face Down

So there she sat, in front of the broken mirror. Smashed shards of glass lay between the expensive Dior bottles of perfume and Chanel lipsticks. She picked up a piece and examined it in her hand. It was like her life, broken, jagged at the edges. She ran a pale finger down the rough edge and looked at the drop of blood that pooled at the end of her finger. She didn't feel pain, she'd felt worse... Much worse. As she stared at the reflection before her, she started to recognise it less and less...

Her once beautiful snow white skin now was an unfamiliar shade of grey. Her once deep brown doe like eyes were empty, haunting. Even her long shiny hair went lank and unwashed, split ends and grease galore. No more did her cheeks blush a vicious crimson at anything. No more did those full ruby lips smile widely. The real her had faded away, long gone now...

He didn't mean to hit that hard. He didn't mean to make her bleed. He didn't mean every shouted curse or hateful slap. She kept telling herself that as he pounded into her with his fists, night after night... _I'm sorry baby, baby forgive me_... He would say afterwards, cradling her broken hand or cut face. So, she would be the one comforting him, stroking his rough cheek that went unshaven, and telling him everything would be okay. But it obviously wouldn't be, how could it be? Her once perfect happily ever after was smashed and broken, just like the mirror...

Of course these words of comfort were lies, she knew that. But she couldn't leave him, she couldn't run away, she couldn't tell anyone. Who could she trust anyway? It was impossible to find someone to trust nowadays. He knew everyone, no one would dare to cross him for poor little her... She didn't have a mother to turn to. Renee had died five years ago in a horrible bungee jumping accident. The rope had got tangled around her neck and snapped it. No one could save her. Renee was gone, but what about Charlie? She couldn't turn to her father, her own fucking father, she couldn't even trust him. You know why? Because he had been there, he had witnessed it, he had taken part... Charlie, Chief of Police in Forks, had taken part in the raping and beating of a young girl, his own daughter... How _sick_ was that? She didn't even feel confident telling her own best friend, Alice Cullen. They had been friends since nursery but even then she couldn't break the horrible secret that hung over her life like a storm cloud.

So as she desperately tried to cover up every scar and bruise on her pale skin, she thought of her life – her past, her present her future... The foundation was too cold on her fresh new cuts, on the tender new bruise on her right cheek bone. She flinched. She never flinched in front of him. She held onto her cries of pain and hurt. She learnt through time, crying never helped, it only made the outcome worse...

The past was beautiful. The past was young and carefree. It was amazing while it lasted. She remembered her childhood well, maybe because they were the best times of her life... She remembered her caring mother, and living with her in Arizona. She remembered the long hot days spent out and about, enjoying the glorious sunshine. It was always hot and sunny there. Those days were her favourites, days when she would just sit and relax in the sun with her mother. They used to go up to the cold pools in the mountains for the day, and just swim all day, enjoying the contrast in temperature. Or they would go to the zoo and see all the animals wandering around freely. Everything was a complete contrast to her present...

The present was living hell. The present was hard and rough. But time passes, even when it seems impossible, it passes. Even for her.

She couldn't see much in the future. Only more of this as she dragged through each day lifelessly. If she endured the beatings and the arguments, she might just make it... _Maybe_.

Maybe wasn't good enough though. And that's what brought her to that decision. She got into the warm bath and reached for the razor. The metal was cold in her hand and her heart pounded even harder in her chest. This was the last option, the only way out, the final straw... She didn't want it to end like this obviously. She hadn't planned this. But what else could she do? She lifted the razor to her wrist and pressed it in gently. She gasped as the metal blade pressed through and blood pooled before dripping into the bath water. Slowly, she dragged it further up her arm till she reached the crook of her elbow. The smell of rust was overpowering now, she never liked the smell of blood.

"Bella?" She heard someone shout. She hadn't locked the bathroom door, she hoped it wasn't Jacob... Her head spun and she felt herself sliding into unconsciousness.

"Bella!" It was Alice... Alice had come to save her... She smiled slightly and tried to call out but her vision faded and she slipped further into the bath water. She could hear two people coming up the stairs now... They wouldn't be in time, she didn't want to be saved. The door swung open and it revealed Alice. She gasped and screamed loudly when she saw the girl in the water.

"Edward! Edward quick, please help!" Her vision was going black around the edges now, _goodbye_, she whispered, her throat dry as sandpaper.

"Alice? Oh shit..." Someone else entered the bathroom and leant over the bath, "Bella? Bella can you hear me?!" She opened her eyes once again and locked eyes with a pair of dazzling green ones. They were laced with worry and fright and she reached a pale hand out to touch his face.

"Goodbye..."

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AUTHORS NOTE : Sad one shot. The song is Face Down by the Red Jumpsuit Apparatus. Depressing I know, but still I had inspiration for it. Please review!


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